You remind me of a female friend I know, who after a breakup told me she wants to enjoy her time alone... less than a month passed and she's entered a new relationship.
Well, I don't know how much it fits you, but I'd define that friend as someone who loves males' company. And it's true, she has more male friends than female friends. She even says herself she prefers males over females.
You may want to ask yourself what is the motive of wanting a relationship so much. Not that it's a bad thing, but it's a strong part of you which you seem curious about. And it's also a good way to get to know yourself better, as you've said you want to do.

If holding yourself from being in a relationship is too hard, how about making up for it by writing romance blogs or journals about your past relationships, or your romantic views perhaps? You can turn this into a hobby, and it can keep you in much more company with yourself.