Today I reflected on why I am so isolated socially, and that people avoid me. Yes, it is because of my father. But what is clear to me now is that my father's criticism stemmed from his flawed thinking. He has this twisted thought that if you talk to people then you give them value, and this lessens your value. So, every time I tried to engage with someone socially, he intervened and criticized me for doing so because he thought we are better than others. To this day, my father still watches with whom I am talking and what I am talking. It bothers me a lot, but I cannot find a way out of this situation without confronting him. I didn't talk to him for a week after he made a remark and criticized me, but he still does it. I think inside me I have the tendency to engage with people and ask them questions. Yes, I ask naive questions and make naive remarks, but I haven't practiced long enough to sharpen my social skills and developing confidence. It is not exactly a revelation, because I knew all the way long that my social inadequacy was because of my father's criticism, but what is clear to me now is that his criticism was not because I was doing something wrong (I don't think others talk about important stuff confidently all the time), but because he has the wrong idea about others and human interactions and what gives a person a real value. Unfortunately, I still cannot escape the reality that he still criticizes me, and that I am still afraid to engage with others (because of that). To be honest, I don't know what is the value of this, but I wanted to write it and share it. Thanks for reading.