So my therapy session went well today. I discussed my feelings of hoplessness with my therapist and we really dug into why I'm feeling like that. It didn't make me feel a lot better, but it did help to discuss it.
Because she's out of network, she has to give me receipts so I can submit to insurance. We had never discussed what code she billed me under before. So she mentioned to me that she had been billing under GAD because of my anxiety and trauma. She contemplated adding depression, but ultimately, she has left it as GAD for now. GAD doesn't really fit me, but I understand why she has used that as a diagnosis. It's wierd in a way to have a diagnosis, even though it's a billing diagnosis. She still agrees that I have Complex PTSD.
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"Do you know what’s really scary? You want to forget something. Totally wipe it off your mind. But you never can. It can’t go away, you see. And… and it follows you around like a ghost."
~ A Tale of Two Sisters (Janghwa, Hongryeon) (2003)
"I feel like an outsider, and I always will feel like one. I’ve always felt that I wasn’t a member of any particular group."
~ Anne Rice
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