Give yourself credit for such a huge realization.  To be able to recognize your father's error in thinking and see clearly how that has affected your current thinking and behavior... that's huge. Many people go their entire lives without questioning things.
You seem like a very self aware person. Give your mind and emotions time to absorb this realization and then decide what your next step should be. It doesn't have to be anything big.
Even just deciding to deal with people on your own terms and not your father's is a pretty big step.
I think you are pretty amazing to realize this and be willing to take steps to improve your thinking.
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'Religion is for people who are afraid of going to Hell.
Spirituality is for those who have already been there.'
--Vine Deloria
'Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.'
--Anonymous
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