I'm sorry you are having such a bad time with things. You do exist, and you do have something to contribute to this world.  You might think about talking to a therapist. What you say would be protected by client patient confidentiality.
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'Religion is for people who are afraid of going to Hell.
Spirituality is for those who have already been there.'
--Vine Deloria
'Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.'
--Anonymous
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