I am agitated, I get 'up rashed' and I am full of energy for hours o days, I get irritable, unable to sleep and agressive mostly, but few time I believe I am a super genious. Then the 'down', not a mood down but a more crying, lack of energy, lying in bed, ...

I told everything to my psychiatrist, even the homicidal and suicidal part.

He just gave me Trazodone. That's it. I took 100mg, waited 35minutes and saw him again. I was equally agitated but clumsy and drowsy.

He said he thinks lithium is not that a good option when he mentioned it the appointment we had before when I told him aout the'ups'. He said something about valporate and clorpreI-don't-remember-what being better.

I am just ****ed up, more agitated, I just want to end my life but I don't want to die, I just want this pain to disappear. I have a lot of college tasks and other important things to do, I can't wait until my psychiatrist decide to give me something. He said valporate takes time to do something...

I DON'T want to kill myself but I can't hold this anymore and I can't be sedated all the time.