i am so sorry you are feeling so terrible. it is hard to feel this way. have you taken zoloft? i know it can help OCD and depression. i wish there was some kind of magic word to make all the pain okay but all i can say is you have to go on for your boys if anything and you should call your DR. and look into all you options (med wise) good luck and i hope things turn around for you. Hugs and best wishes.