Niccpa, I said you were "a very together person." I'm sorry you thought I was saying the opposite. Below is what I said, with one added word in caps (WITH) to help you see what I was trying to say. Guess I didn't think I needed to repeat the first "with." Now I wish I had. .

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QUOTING MYSELF HERE:
If I were this person, no way could I have a relationship with someone (especially not WITH a very together person who can handle both full-time work and graduate studies) until I took a vacation from the relationship and took care of my own business.

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Niccpa, I do not even use the word "CYNICAL" at any time or any place. Why? Because it is considered extremely rude or even an insult, in certain hispanic cultures, to say that a person's thinking on any matter is "cynical." I live in a predominantly hispanic area, speak the language, and I have probably acquired the same sensitivity. "STERILE" is a rather strong word also, not to be used in my neighborhood.

I refer you to one of the blogs that Doc John has placed on PsychCentral. It's about men preferring to marry nondominant women. If dominance implies that power (usually meaning a composite of money-status-power-skills-etc.) plays a part in personal relationships, then perhaps my ideas are not considered to be cynical or sterile by everyone. Perhaps a matchmaker might be inclined to agree with me.

Some pop psychologists make POWER a dirty word. That's because, when they use it they mean ABUSE OF POWER, not power itself. That is only one frame of reference, however. So one needs to understand the person's frame of reference in order to know what that person means by the word power.

Not all psychologists use the word that way. This is my frame of reference. ALL HUMANS HAVE POWER. They have the power to financially provide, to intellectually contribute, to use their community contacts, to use their homemaking & homebuilding skills, to demonstrate love, to influence decisions within the relationship, and to give comfort. Power is not a bad word in this frame of reference. It is not cynical. It is not sterile. It is loving and productive.

You're right about one thing. I'm not a warm or demonstrative person. However, I AM a loving and caring person. I simply have my own ways of showing it.

I wish you all happiness that, Adonai willing, begins under the chupah, whether with David or with someone else of your choice. I think you are a very loving person, and that you will make a good marriage no matter whom you choose as a life partner. It's a mitzvah that you came to these forums to share with us.