Quote:
Originally Posted by raspberrytorte
I had a nasty episode that started last April and went through August.
I'm a writer. At the beginning of the episode I wrote half of a novel. My problem is that I associate writing with the episode, like the writing triggered it. Because of that I'm afraid to write anything! I can not go crazy again. I'm paranoid that if I went crazy again my husband would leave me for good.
There's already a bunch of things that I used to do that I avoid now because they trigger me. It just sucks.
Does anyone else have a similar problem?
I'm so afraid to be creative again!
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i have bp1 with psychosis my first break was due to work...I had so much going on and had to do an oral presentation at a national meeting on top of it. Work caused my break and while initially I was fighting like a champ against the illness the more stable I became the more afraid I became...I started pulling back on my work, at first it was still at an OK level but the more I pulled back the slower my thinking became which lead to more pulling back. I lost my job. I have a new one but now I'm pushing....I think I'm probably hypomanic now but I'm counting on the meds to protect me from the psychosis and full mania....maybe it's reckless but I already lost one job due to fear, I can't afford to lose another. If you're a writer can you afford not to write?