=( (((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))
you're not totally alone - you have back up! I'm sorry your t said things in a way that is hurtful - that never feels good. But the t is right in saying (ONLY) that he can't be telling you what to do because that would make him also like your abusers. My t has said the same to me before.
What your T is trying to say (and could have said better) is that what ever you decide, your T is right there behind you.
You now have to play "Frogger' and jump out from all these controlling people - your T can't be one of them. He's there to assist and guide - but not make decisions for you.

Breathe! Do what needs to be done that is healthiest (not the most comfortable) for you and know T is there right with you.
kiya