What does trouble me though is how your wife's trust was broken in you when she caught you interacting online with another woman. Yet, she is spending time with this man that is seeing her behind HIS wife's back. Is she not seeing that she is spending time with a man that is more willing to go further than you did? That man should not be having a woman at his home to stay over night when his wife is not there. That man is NOT respecting his wife's boundaries which is saying an awful lot about his trustworthiness.