A letter to old t I'll never send:

Hi old t,

Thank you for the glass figurines you gave me, it was a nice gesture. I almost got rid of the largest one today. You see, I had a garage sale and put out the figurine but no one bought it. I don't really want this figurine and I left you and found a better therapist (no offense, but you had some quirks) but I feel bad parting with it. Of all your quirks, I feel like you didn't fully approve of my non-straight sexual orientation because of your personal religious beliefs and I'm happy to have found a t who more accepts me for who I am. I'm pretty sure you believe in gay conversion therapy if gays choose to seek it and while you said you'd never try to convert me I'm just uncomfortable with the whole thing. Writing this makes me want to smash that figurine, but I'd rather find someone else to enjoy it then to have have to clean up a hundred million glass particles and have them end up in a landfill.