T,
I really am going to struggle when you are away. I know I am distant on the surface of things. But underneath it all I want to be safe, and to speak about these things that haunt me.
When we went to schedule our next apt last week and you looked at your diary and said "Next week is looking pretty hectic..." I really wish I hadn't made it easy for you by saying "Oh, I'll just come the week after then."
I was taking care of you instead of me. I should have been taking care of me.
So now I see you in two weeks, then you go away for three weeks, then you come back for a month or two, and then you go on maternity leave and we have to terminate.
Typical me, shooting myself in the foot.
It all seems a bit pointless now.