On Monday morning, I called T about my depression. He never called back that day, which was really weird because that has never happened before. The only time he ever calls back the next day is if I call him later, like after 4 or 5 PM. I was half mad and half convinced that something horrible had happened to him.


On Tuesday he called me back at 8 AM right as I was about to walk out the door to my internship. He said there had been a glitch in the voicemail system at the center and that he was not able to get the message until that morning. He apologized for the delay and we talked for just a couple of minutes about what is going on, but I really couldn't talk for long because I had to leave. He offered me either of two available sessions that he had that day, only I could take either of them because of intern and school. Then, he told me to call him back later to check in about how I was feeling. He told me to leave a msg. on his voicemail about the best time to call me back so we can talk. Already, I was melting.

So I go to my internship and run my morning groups. I get back to my office around 11:30 and there is a msg. on my phone from him. He says, "Hi. I was just calling find out how you are doing. I always want to give you the phone number to my other office so a delay like we had will never happen again. You can leave a msg. on both numbers now, if you want. Call me back and tell me a good time to get in touch with you."

I listen to the msg. six thousand times and then call him back. About an hour later he returns my call. The only place in the hospital that I can get any reception and privacy is outside. Unfortunately, it was about 1 degree yesterday with like 837 MPH winds. So I'm standing out there in a gazebo, teeth chattering, shaking, wind blowing, hair whipping around all over the place, sniffing, talking to T. He was like, "Are you in a wind tunnel?"

So then he says, "I have already scheduled you a 2nd session for the next two weeks. That way, you will come Saturday and Tuesday so we will have more time to talk." omg. I didn't even have to ask. He just went ahead and did it, remembering that I am done with school.

We talked for about 20 minutes after that, about the intensity of the depression and all. He said he is going to call pdoc and let him know that I am willing to treat the depression more aggressively, whatever that entails. T said that he is going to help me get through this, whatever the next step is. It's hard to figure out what the next step is when stuck in a depression.

omg, I love him. no longer feeling the need to throw stuff at him (not now anyway).