I always feel that way when my T goes on vacation. I picture him having the most wonderful time ever and then it becomes very painful and I want to kick him, lol. Then sometimes I have to counteract that fantasy with a vacation disaster fantasy-- T goes camping and his tent collapses during an intense thunderstorm. Or T has Thanksgiving dinner and the turkey comes out black and rock hard, lol I have to make myself feel better somehow. I have come to realize that I am still in the part of the relationship that is sort of like mother-baby. I want all my needs to be fulfilled, i want to be happy with him, but I really couldn't care less if he is happy or not. The adult part of me, however (unlike a baby) can think about his moments of happiess... and that hurts and makes me jealous... so I end up counteracting them with fantasies that both make me feel better and make me laugh.

It's just a phase of the relationship. As we progress, probably in about 87 more years, I will be able to recognize him as a separate person, that we are two adults, and that I want him to be happy.