I understand what you are saying cyrano, right down to the 3 hour commute in the snow. When you are tired everything seems worse. I think that we are the lowest priority in most families and sometimes it gets frustrating or depressing. Your wife probably had a long day with the kids and you had a long day and you get to the point where you just let it go. I actually think that that is healthy. Holding things in all the time is no good for your health. ITs also important to let her know that you feel underappreciated. It maybring to her attention things that she has taken for granted and not thought of for a while. At the least it clears the air. You are definitely not alone in feeling underappreciated despite your best efforts.