I know coming here last night and talking/writing helped but I feel bad like I did something wrong. I tried telling T things I've seen and heard but felt that he was not understanding so just avoid any talking about any of it to him. Maybe that's not good. Actually I feel very astranged from T right now and I'm pretty sure it's because of me and the way I am. My mind right now is racing but it's better than the negative voices.
skylrks