That just occurred to me. I'm normally not a "counter." However, this is sort of a big deal to me because I have made it through a couple of really tough nights without SI and before I stopped I was doing it nightly, muliple (sometimes many) cuts per night-- that's every single night without fail for a long time. I have been SI'ing for 8 years on and off-- much more on than off. I can only one time in the past in which I actually stopped for a long time.

This time I really owe it to my T for being the first person to ever understand me in a way that on one ever had. The first person to ever understand the SI on a level that is to much more intense than the behavior itself. He was not afraid to say things to me, like others have been.No one has ever gotten through to me like this. It has been tough, like a great loss. I have no intention of saying "I've stopped forever" because that's not the type of person I am. I normally don't count days or make promises. It is what it is. But right now whatever it is, is working for me.