Hello, I am Deviosa. I'm 17 years old and I recently visited a counselor. I told them some of the things I struggle with everyday. My counselor has told me that I might be suffering from depression, because I often see my future as being bleak. I often feel worthless too and I often think that I don't deserve things. On the flip-side, I think I might be suffering from another mental illness, which might be ocd, or some form of it.

The symptoms I'm having include, having unwanted thoughts that are sexual or really violent. I am constantly obsessing of having an illness and I go through long periods of obsessing over it. I will often google it, evaluate myself, argue with myself in my head. Reassure myself over and over again. The current illness I'm obsessing over is schizophrenia. My mom has schizophrenia, which doesn't help. I've been obsessing over it since 2015. I've went to my dad multiple times to have reassurance, I have to go to google and go over the symptoms and make sure I don't have them. I've constantly checked over the risks. I've told the counselor about it and they've reassured me that I'm not showing signs and the risks of getting it are small. Even after having a therapist tell me that I'm okay, I am still obsessing over it and worrying about it, and it's gotten to the point that when I write things down. I have to constantly go back and rewrite things again to make sure it all makes sense and it's cohesive as possible. When I have a conversation, I doubt that I'm making sense. I will ask if I'm making sense.

Another thing I've noticed with me, is that I'm extremely protective over my stuff. I will be constantly checking my pockets to make sure my phone is in there. or I'll be checking my bag to make sure my phone is there. I'll be worried that I've left something behind so I have to go back and check to 100% make sure that I have everything.

Do I have ocd?