I know you love him Rose, so of course it is extremely hard to let go and let someone else take on the role of caregiver. I understand you know that the best care comes from someone who loves him (you), but eventually you wont be able to help him anymore if you allow yourself to bend so far for him. Sure, trees bend in the wind but this has become a storm and you need shelter yourself. Please try to put your own needs ahead of his. I understand it gives you purpose. You are worth more, you have much to offer this world, other than only this one role you are playing as his long time partner.
It is not selfish to think of yourself. You know that you need to get away but you are afraid it wont be good enough care. Please realize that you have and continue to do the best you can, but you MUST put yourself higher up... you cant be everything to one person, no one can. Allow others to do what they can. I had to let others care for my mom even when I knew what would have been better for her , take care my friend