Hi confused. I'm confused. I don't understand what the first step for you that you cannot take is, but I sense you don't wish to reveal it here. I understand--that's OK! If part of it is seeing the lawyer, you were very courageous and have done great to make that appointment!

I want to tell you what a wimp I was and how much help I needed taking the first steps. I was unable to see a divorce lawyer for a long time, just totally unable. It wasn't until my husband said he was going to dispose of a major financial asset of ours that I got a wake up call that he could leave me with almost zilch. This spurred me to action but I was unable to call a divorce lawyer myself to set up an appointment. My sister found me a lawyer and made the call. I was unable to go to the first meeting with the divorce lawyer by myself. My sister had to come with me for support. I was unable to tell my husband I wanted a divorce. I was too scared. Instead, after over a year and a half of living in separate bedrooms in my house, I got my husband to come to a therapy session with me, and in the safety of T's office and with T's support, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. I could not take these steps on my own--I was too scared and stuck. So my strategy was to use others in my life to help me with these difficult steps forward. Since then I have become stronger and able to do a lot on my own. But in the early days I really needed people to help me.

Can you lean on the people in your life to help you make the difficult first steps? It sounds like this "A thing" you don't wish to name here is really tough for you. ("I needed him more on the do this A first thing") You can still make the decision to do this thing but seek others' help with it. Talk with your T about this and how he can support you without actually doing things for you or deciding for you. Friends and family too.

Take care.