Apparently, mine is rooted in childhood. It started in my preschool years and never stopped with the emotional neglect, emotional abuse, physical abuse and emotional incest by my parents. I was the protector of my younger brother and sister and the go between my warring parents. I don't remember hugs, I love you or any words of encouragement or praise. In fact, if I did say anything good about myself it was met with age appropriate insults that put me in my place. My 85 year old mother still uses them when she thinks I'm not focusing on her needs enough or disagreeing with her too much. I once ask my mother when I was 15 years old if there was anything I did well in her opinion. She told me I made a good salad. I wish I were kidding but I'm not. I remember it because it was so hurtful.