Facing the fears is a big part of it I think. Accepting the diagnosis for me meant losing a lot of things I'd hoped to be able to do in life in relation to work and other things. In your case it certainly sounds like you have an understandable fear of the medication. It's certainly not easy defeating Anxiety, but we have no choice but to try. I only realised last year that I've had Anxiety since my early teens, and it's now getting worse since I identified it. It's certainly not an easy road with MH is it!