One of my problems is low self esteem combined with unrealistically high expectations and a feeling of being trapped in a humiliating dead-end life. When old friends or family visit it is particularly bad, because I feel that they are judging me as unsuccessful. In reality, I'm sure it is mostly me that is judging and comparing - not them.

Sometimes I have thought that if I was able to accomplish something that makes me proud of myself then it might help me to be more at peace and nicer to people around me. I have thought about trying to take math classes at a community college. I think that would make me proud of myself. The problem is finding the time when I have a tiger by the tail with this infernal family business. LOL