bpd, I do understand that that's the normal arrangement. But in our home we both work and we both do the housework and raise the kids. That was probably lost in my post because I described one night in which I couldn't face any of it and my wife happens to be on vacation. On a normal night we would both come in the door and I would make dinner, do the dishes, get the kids into the bath, etc. before I even got to sit down. Meanwhile, my wife would have our infant which involves feeding. And while I know it's a pain to be tethered to a hungry mouth, I can't help but feel like on those nights I have the harder job. In any case, most nights neither of us get a break.

I appreciate that you presented the other side so delicately. I was actually anticipating getting lynched and it's nice that it hasn't happened. But even if it does, it's ok. I know that in most cases the mother gets the shaft in the division of labor and so such a reaction would make sense. It's something that, believe it or not, I try to be very aware of.

It also occurs to me that no matter what I say here, I'm probably destined to be the villain.

But in the end, none of it matters. I will continue to do what I've been doing because these are my kids and she and I are partners in raising them.

And it's not like if I woke up tomorrow with a different life I'd be enjoying it any more.

As for updates to this mess, I have no idea. She went Christmas shopping before I got home. I think I'm still on the couch tonight but at the moment, whatever. It doesn't matter.

Cyran0