You are such an inspirational person WC. You have given me hope on more than just a few occasions. You give me hope just knowing that people like you exsist in this world which can feel so bleak and full of people without compassion. I can see you are a leader and one I'd gladly follow and I assure you I don't feel this way about too many people. I'm neither a leader nor a follower but I do relate to being the person most responsible for morale sometimes. Lately it's been my husband and son keeping my morale up....they do it simply by seeing the real me beyond the illness....by reminding me how much I'm loved and appreciated just for being the person I am. They do it simply by being their authentic, beautiful selves. I'm crying as I write this because I'm just so grateful to have such beautiful people in my life. I can honestly say that I do the same for them....I see the real them, I truly know, love and appreciate who they are and I show and tell them often. That is all it really takes to keep hope and morale alive I think. All else is secondary. Be kind and loving to yourself and ask for help when you need it. You know you'd gladly help others and you deserve the same in return. I read in the update thread and understand you are struggling and I'm so sorry. Don't be hard on yourself. Much love to you and yours.