My mom told me I called her boasting that I was driving nearly 100 miles an hour on the express way and that she coaxed me into the slow lane way behind any car with no music playing. I have NO recollection of this. My pdoc tells me I paced in her office for 45 mins straight. I remember that this happened but can't remember doing it. I had to ask my mom what I was doing when things got so bad because I had no memory. She told me I had to leave work and again, I had NO idea. I was sick for 2 days because of meds. I remember that I vomited but I don't remember it actually happening and my mom says I couldn't even stand up which I can not recollect at all.
Has this ever happened to anyone else? I am so afraid guys...I am so afraid that I will end up in a state hospital lost and confused for my life. I feel like dying.
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*****
Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now
Tori Amos ~ Crucify
Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
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