Hi esther!!
I've seen you for awhile You're Wonderful to so many people!!!!
I love reading your ideas & your thoughts on topics!It sounds as if you are asking how to get in touch with the Spiritual Side of Life rather than the Religious side (you mention your family & friends could help you there).In my humble opinion,IMHO,could you take a walk (away from hustle & bustle) & surround yourself in Nature's environment (ie. mts., ocean, trees, flowers,snow) & maybe animals scurrying about! Sit down feeing your mind and just be. Silently take in Life,your 5 senses will be a huge help!After awhile observe how you feel.
You may notice a Oneness with Nature, an Energy, a rhythm. Just a suggestion. Good Luck & have fun in your investigation!