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Old May 10, 2017, 07:17 AM
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seesaw seesaw is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,406
Quote:
Originally Posted by FindingVoice View Post
Hey friends.

Just joined today. At my wits end. Nutshell: been friends with a man for 25 years, and we've been through every kind of situation together. He is my dearest friend-introduced me to my husband. He is married too.

Over the past 2 years we started working on some projects together and had an emotional affair-nothing physical. He called for a complete end to our friendship a few months back and I am still devastated. I know he's right to end our friendship but I'm struggling with accepting it. I still cry and miss him terribly every day.

I keep thinking, if only I'd had better boundaries, been less giving to this guy, beating myself up. I can't accept that we're not friends, hoping against hope that someday we will be able to return to the decades long friendship we enjoyed before we blew it.

I'm seeing therapists, 12 step, reading, meditation, focusing on myself, comforting my inner child, journaling, feeling, crying, anything to try to accept or move on. This is the most painful experience I've ever had. I miss my friend so badly. I won't contact him and break this boundary but it hurts every minute of the day.

Will this end? I am lost.
You are going through this stages of grief right now. It's perfectly normal. It will get easier.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

Seesaw
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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...