I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. There was a period where I was drinking to self-medicate and it was somewhere between infrequent and more than usual so not overly much. My pdoc knew about it and just reminded me that in the short term it might help but long term it would make things worse. I kind of just gradually stopped. Some days when I'm having a really stressful time, I will have a glass of champagne but not very often. What about making an appointment with your pdoc to go over your meds?