when I was 42yo and broken down bad...it was the hell hole....I was just laying in bed and crying....I was hoping that I would die....I didn't try to kill myself...but I ended up not working for four long years....but I recovered somewhat and went back to work ...and here I am at 85yo and not wanting to die....what a life....I was on psych drugs too long...I wrongly believed that I had a chemical imbalance...