Your approach to life is not working for you. Keep using the same approach and you will keep getting the same result. In the short term, you get a quick reward. Then, in the long term, it doesn't work. So you become bitterly disappointed and very depressed. You are addicted to the short term reward.

Tomorrow, you'll get attention and time together with this woman . . . like how she talked to you on the phone for over an hour. You're getting what you want: more connectedness to her. But, in the long term, you will be disappointed . . . like you always are. You are lonely because your approach to being close to people is not working. But it's what you know how to do, and it provides a quick reward. That's how unhealthy addictions work.