Well then, you have to sit down with her and talk about it again, if she continues to refuse, ask her what she is so afraid of. Then tell her what you are afraid of, which is not showing your children that when someone is an adult and they can't figure something out they need to get help so the entire family doesn't suffer. Tell her that in therapy the both of you will figure out "together" how to best go forward for the health of the "family". If the marriage is not going to work, for whatever reason, instead of tossing that decision back and forth with the children sitting and waiting in limbo, you BOTH come to the decision together.