on saterday nighti heard voices in my head... i've heard them twice before, once they wanted me to cut myself, the other they wanted me to join them (yeah, i dunno either) but the last time was sometime last year. saterday was much worse than thse two times... they were yelling... i'm not sure how many, atleast 3 (and there's this one voice that's always there) that were just screaming at me. my friend was trying to talk to me and i couldn't understand what he was saying- i couldn't even think... all i could do was hold my ears and mumble nonsense... im not sure what the voices wanted, but i know they hate my friends for some reason. the friend i was with was trying to calm me down. i was just looking at him, trying to listen to him... he said that i had this look on my face as though i could go and kill my best friend and not have anyemotion whatsoever about it. then sunday it happened again, except this time it was thoughts... it was just idea after idea thrown into my head, but they weren't my thoughts. i did get some really awesome art ideas, but i couldnt remember them.

i went to my therapist today and told her about all this (there's much more, but yeah) and how all the hallucinations are happening so often now. she wants me to come back next week and she's calling my psychiatrist tomorrow. i think they want to put me on medication. i really dont want to.

but yeah... my point is that this stuff is happening too often and i'm getting really freaked out because i never feel normal anymore. and i'm very afraid