its alright. how long has it been dat you been talking to this brick wall. a long time. i hear what you say , but i cant accept it in my head. my pride is all i got and they aint got much of dat left.

i cant do the aa thing here cause i cant stand hereing that guy talk about his sheetrock job and how they screwed it all up and he ended up having to go back and fix it. so he drank while he fixed and nest thing he knew he woke up in the middle of the floor. its all stories liek that. i live that to.i dont wanna hear it no more. im sick and tired of it. its everywhere i go, everyone i tawk to. I want it to end. no more of it. But it aint. its gonna keep on. And i gotta live this %#@&#!.

Why cant i just ride my bike to my friends house no more and sit on the swing and talk. I wanna go to jeanfreauxs and get my roast beef. i dont wanna see lacoste being bulldozed or teds gone forever. Im sick of this %#@&#! and im tired of hurting. i cant get rid of the past cause the present is keeping it going.

i keep saying to myself to just let it go. but everytime that something goes its just another port of my life thats gone. I hate this %#@&#! %#@&#!. I downed two beer tonite. i went to shell and got them way after one tonite. and they were gone in less than 10 minutes.

i really cant hanle this. its too much. im sorry i dont take ya'lls advice. i do some of it. some of it i cant handle. I wish i could be like you and do the right thing. i just cant swallow the last thing i got. and im really hating the pride. cause what do i even have pride in.