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Originally Posted by Trace14
Since we are thinking that my PTSD possibly started around age 5-6 , this might explain some of my problems in school. Not being able to pay attention, easily distracted, not staying awake, getting that blank stare at the teacher when trying to concentrate on what she was saying but actually hearing nothing, then she would call on me to answer something and I wouldn't have a clue as to what she was talking about, I would say I didn't know the answer and other kids would laugh, and the teacher would get a little angry with me. I guess the teacher just thought I was daydreaming and intentionally not paying attention. There was one teach that caught on that something was wrong, and she would send me to the nurses office everyday after lunch and let me sleep. Again that embarrassed me in front of other students, but now I see she was really helping me. Funny how things start coming together and explaining themselves, I felt like a stupid kid and that something was wrong with me. Maybe it wasn't my fault after all.
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I also experienced a lot of this. I had a hard time paying attention in class, at least after Kindergarten anyway where I was punished a lot because I really had no idea how to play with kids my own age and I was used to having to fight to keep any toy I was playing with. That didn't go over well and my most frequent memory of Kindergarten was being put over the teachers knee and being spanked while my classmates counted how many spanks I got. By first grade I had no spirit left. Just stared out the window or at the floor or my desk.
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"Do you know what’s really scary? You want to forget something. Totally wipe it off your mind. But you never can. It can’t go away, you see. And… and it follows you around like a ghost."
~ A Tale of Two Sisters (Janghwa, Hongryeon) (2003)
"I feel like an outsider, and I always will feel like one. I’ve always felt that I wasn’t a member of any particular group."
~ Anne Rice
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