Well, having a brother act as a vice of a father who emotionally expresses stronger hate than love is. It's hard seeing him as a brother. We also had a family decay overtime, both outside of home and on the inside, at least in my case.

I have my times when I'm shut down while my family is talking actively. I once told my mother I find it disappointing I can be silent or in a bad mood and they can just keep on talking and laughing like nothing is going on. She told me "What, so we have to be sad just because you're sad?"

I am the emotional trash of the family - the most angry emotions come to me. You have no idea how much anger I feel right now as I am writing this. My family doesn't truly care about me, or I am just so detached from them