That's fine to feel, however, it's doubtful that you'll get the truth and, if you do get the truth, will you believe it?

Does it matter to the end result?

I think you must be sad and angry and hurt. This will make you say and do things that might not be the best idea. And (as you know) I don't think this thread should be "out there" anyway...

Good luck to to you. I hope you find peace soon.