What do YOU want?

I wouldn't try to psychoanalyze. If you do, you're likely to squash any relationship before it even has a chance to begin.

That said....she sounds like me (and a lot of women I know...too many for it to be a "disorder" or "mental illness"... :-/)

We like to know where we stand. We'll push men away to test their resolve. We'll argue to see if they're too weak and run. We'll tell them we suck so that they can tell us we're wonderful. We'll tell them they're too good for us.

We need firm boundaries and the assurances that, no matter what we do (within reason, of course) you're there to stay.

Basically, you need to be a saint and not really mortal. You need to be so self-assured and confidant that you border on obnoxious.

It's a wonder people like this find each other really.....

I'm kind of sorry you're not connected. To me, you're perfect for each other. I sincerely mean that. However...I just say that based on what you said here, and I could be totally off the mark.