My shame started with being "wrong" and "failing" to be born "properly"..

The mother stopped pushing.. she shut down (maybe ambivalent about giving birth or already regretting ..)

I was "taken out" with forceps, I was "taken away" to a "special" ward or something..

This would not have helped with bonding..

"Bonding" was sub optimal throughout childhood and at a certain age I realised .. how much I "should be ashamed" ..how the family was not a "close family" - more so than I had realised..

This bear was "shunned"

And I internalised all the messages of

"Fuzzybear is...

Bad
Evil
Always wrong
Not good enough
Failure
Guilty (always.. no matter what I did or didn't do)
Ugly
Worthless
Dirty





Please don't tell me that all parents do the best they can..