Because you are depressed (perhaps you weren't given positive messages growing up?) you are not seeing how special you are. I know you work in customer service (been there). For people without extreme self confidence--the work can be triggering/make you feel worthless. But things do not remain the same forever. You deserve to enjoy some good times too. If you can manage to force yourself to take care of yourself, maybe someday, something good will happen to you. We can only hope....<<hugs>>