Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear
My shame started with being "wrong" and "failing" to be born "properly"..
The mother stopped pushing.. she shut down (maybe ambivalent about giving birth or already regretting ..)
I was "taken out" with forceps, I was "taken away" to a "special" ward or something..
This would not have helped with bonding..
"Bonding" was sub optimal throughout childhood and at a certain age I realised .. how much I "should be ashamed" ..how the family was not a "close family" - more so than I had realised..
This bear was "shunned"
And I internalised all the messages of
"Fuzzybear is...
Bad
Evil
Always wrong
Not good enough
Failure
Guilty (always.. no matter what I did or didn't do)
Ugly
Worthless
Dirty
 
Please don't tell me that all parents do the best they can..
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(((((bear)))))) I can relate ,I was never allowed to forget that she nearly died having me ,an I was a nightmare baby who cried too much ect ect ,'our crimes ' have been branded into our brains for so long we have come to believe them but that doesn't make them true .  
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sometimes crimson acts like a crazy cat,
She has to remind herself, she is good and kind ...
For that's a fact. 😺
like a small boat on the ocean ,
sending big waves into motion
like how a single word,
can make a heart open,
I might have only one match
But i can make an Explosion !
Rachel. Platten. Fight song.
Member since 03/10/09 (new user name)
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