I didn't read all of the responses, sorry if I am repeating anything.
I have maternal transference for all of my ts. I am in the process of working through it with new t. I had a fantasy about all of my ex ts- that they would love me, take care of me and never hurt me. None of these fantasies ever came true but it never stopped me from dreaming and hoping. New t holds the boundaries, she reminds me that these are just fantasies and they will never come true. She says that if she were to entertain my fantasies it would prologue the pain. At first I hated this, I wanted her to entertain my fantasy to meet my needs, I was angry at her, I still am. She was right, the other ts did hurt me by not t holding the boundaries and getting too close to me.
We are working on my needs that were unmet and how I can meet them outside of therapy. Gosh, this makes my t sound very harsh and unkind but she is the opposite. She is very kind and shows me she cares in many different ways, making me hot tea when I went into shock in session, insisting I came back later that evening so she could make sure I was ok, helping me put my coat on, giving me a blanket, when I was cold. These were all things my mother would never do, so in a way she is meeting some of my needs but is very very clear on what she can do and what she won't.
I am wondering if working through this with your individual counsellor would help more and you could devote more time to this as bringing it up in MC is not always helpful as other things come up with your husband and it is his therapy as well.
Do you feel like it's getting any easier for you LT?