Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post Sophiesmom, I really appreciate it.

The first question is easy to answer, I want her back, no doubts.

Without overly generalising, I also agree that she sounds like many women I know too, and on that basis things would be easy, and I'm sure we'd get back together. However, regardless of what part they might play, she definitely does have other issues.

She admits to strong abandonment fears, and a tendency to run, although I've always been able to tempt her back. She has the odd random mood swings, where she shuts off totally, as well as the symptoms I listed above. Perhaps the most extreme symptom, that she's admitted to me, are strong feelings of physical pain and distress that she gets when we're apart, even if only for a couple of days. You would never know it, as she puts on a tough front, and hides it well, but it was always her main/only reason for wanting to end things in past, and for being unsure about getting back together this time.

That said, in every other respect you're spot on. She openly admits to needing/wanting firm boundaries, and to know that I'm the one in charge. If she' s ever rude or disrespectful, she's quick to apologise. She says that I'm sometimes a bit aloof and not very emotional, and calls me a bit an a-hole sometimes, but equally says that's why we get on so well, and that I understand her, and know how to handle her moods.

She also does test me, to see if I'll back down and let her get away with things, but never too extremely, and so sometimes I do, and sometimes I don't.

So yes, she has pushed me away in the past, but she's never ignored me like this, and so I've always been able to pull her back, with pretty much no resistance on her part. As such I was aware that whilst her reasons were real, it was also for reassurance.

So yes, in most ways she's like a lot of women, and so I was confident we'd work things out. In fact we seemed to be, and she was looking forward to doing more things together. Normally I'd have been more pushy, which usually works with her but, with her exams due that week, I backed off and said I'd leave it to her, and wait until they were done.

At that point, I'm prepared to accept that any confusion on her part, was as much down to me taking things slowly, which she'd just as likely see as hesitance on my part, rather than consideration of her other pressures, but that could have been overcome with time. However, due to the stress, upset and confusion about us, she'd been unable to study, and so had to defer the exams, which was a huge blow to her, and from there she withdrew, as the last time we spoke was when I called and said I'd give her some space, which didn't go down well. Of course I don't know whether that was due to anger at me due to her exams, or confusion/upset at her thinking I was just backing off, as she sounded as much confused and agitated, as angry, and has ignored me totally since.

So yeah, I agree, in many ways we are perfect for each other, and I'm 100% convinced that if we were connected and able to communicate then we'd be back together, but for now that seems impossible.

Right now, I've tried to open the lines of communications, but had no response. I'm pretty certain that it's down to one of three reasons. Either she's angry at the situation/me for her exams, and so is shutting me out entirely. Or she's not angry, but wants to try and move on, but can't do that and talk to me, as she knows I'll draw her back. Or she's still confused and needs to cool down and get her head together.

Obviously the last is preferable to me, but that holds its own problems. Given my somewhat aloof nature, and her insecurities, even if she does cool down and decides she wants to try, she'll be convinced that I've already moved on by now, so would find it almost impossible to reach out.

So, whilst I'm convinced things would work out if we were communicating, I have no idea how to re-open the lines of communication whilst she's ignoring me.