I don't get any help from my husband at all - he'll lie on the couch and watch TV no matter how many dishes there are to be done or any other household chores for that matter. Years ago this would have bothered me no end (it did with my first husband) but I don't mind now. I've learnt to accept him as he is and that no matter how much I WISH for to just get up and help me ..... it isn't going to happen. He doesn't offer either. Having said that - if I had to ask - I guess he would help! (We don't always want to ask though, do we?)

I don't think you're a villian at all. I here empathy and understanding for your wife along with your frustrations. Even though you are clearly unhappy with some of your wife's actions - you have spoken about her respectfully here and I think that says a lot about you! You deserve a lot of respect and I feel sad for you that perhaps, you aren't getting it.

I hope the atmosphere improves really quickly for you.

Sending you strength!