It's a different level of devastation. Trust me, I've watched 3 families go through it. The agony will haunt them for many years possibly a lifetime. I can't explain it.

ETA: I get the desperation of an attempt, even the thoughts. I will tell you that knowing what I have seen doesn't stop the thoughts for me but it has put a stopper on attempting. This is not judgment or meant to be a guilt trip...I'm just telling you what I have seen.