i keep all the voicemails... ALL of them. Even if he just says "sorry i missed you, call when you're home" ANYTHING with his voice soothes me.

i have asked him to just leave me voicemails just for the sake of having them. i have tried to "collect" them off my voicemail but the quality is low i have had time to modify them in software..

haha.. i told him in software i can change things around and make him "say" anything i want. hahahaha

i can't just sit there in silence and be ok... not yet. It will take a long time before that could happen... i'd become of afraid.