Quote:
Originally Posted by Demunie
Hugs... I do that to. BF often gets angry because I can't explain what's going on and the more he asks, the more I withdraw. We had multiple arguments over that (well, he being angry and shouting, me being silent and dissociating)... I often feel guilty because I hurt him with my behavior. I'm even sure that he'd be better off without me.
I do dare to say that that's not abusive. Partners may blow up because they worry and feel helpless, not because you "damage" them. Your partner isn't your child... they're adults themselves and can defend themselves. As Lts MC always seems to say, anger is ok. Your partner expresses that something isn't right, probably that he's worrying. In my opinion, abuse has something to do with power differences... that's simply not given here... you're hurting and vulnerable, your not in a position if power.
I agree that it may not be great for your partner though... I have no tips for that sadly  |
So many things I wanna say before my thoughts become too tangled.
Yesss, damn I'm sorry your BF and you argue due to this too!
I often don't know how to explain, and he'll keep asking and asking and asking and saying my small XYZ work issue isn't the real trigger.
I get more and more withdrawn...because it gets clear he's more and more frustrated with the reasons I offer. He starts saying I'm BSing, x isn't the real trigger, wants me to "spit it out".
He feels worried, stressed, helpless and then he bloooowwws up...
Every time he says I treat him like an emotional punching bag with my "whining"(yeah he'll say I'm whining then I withdraw more), I get scared and also worried but angry because he's saying I'm a whiner. So I apologise...and if I apologise wrong, he barks that he hates it when I sound like a "broken slave" grovelling... Then I freak even more.... He gets mad at me when he realises I'm scared of him.