Quote:
Originally Posted by QuietMind
So many things I wanna say before my thoughts become too tangled.
Yesss, damn I'm sorry your BF and you argue due to this too!
I often don't know how to explain, and he'll keep asking and asking and asking and saying my small XYZ work issue isn't the real trigger.
I get more and more withdrawn...because it gets clear he's more and more frustrated with the reasons I offer. He starts saying I'm BSing, x isn't the real trigger, wants me to "spit it out".
He feels worried, stressed, helpless and then he bloooowwws up...
Every time he says I treat him like an emotional punching bag with my "whining"(yeah he'll say I'm whining then I withdraw more), I get scared and also worried but angry because he's saying I'm a whiner. So I apologise...and if I apologise wrong, he barks that he hates it when I sound like a "broken slave" grovelling... Then I freak even more.... He gets mad at me when he realises I'm scared of him.
|
Neither will yelling help your SH urges or your ability to feel emotions. I think that's something that's very hard to understand if you haven't experienced it yourself. Like, BF often gets angry about my trust issues / issues with touch. He thinks I just do those things because I don't trust him enough or because I want him to get mad. He doesn't get that somethings are just completly impossible for me (not gonna spam the board with examples ^^ )
My BF often complains that I look/walk around like a slapped dog after an argument. People blowing up is damn scary.
It feels wrong for me that he calls you a whiner and invalidates your triggers... Also that he gets angrier when you apologize "wrong". Could you try explaining your view of this in a calm minute, when you're both not in a withdrawn/animated/angry state?