</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
confused4ever said:
Did you just tolerate everything until you couldn't anymore??

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Yes, I tolerated a lot for many years. We have been married 20 years. Even when I found out about his affairs beyond a shadow of a doubt (and I suspected for years, but just put my head in the sand and kept trying to make things better), and discussed them (he told me he would continue to sleep with whatever women he wanted), it was still 17 months before I told him I wanted the divorce! I was just so weak and devastated, I couldn't take action. I needed time to build myself up and get the strength. Just for your information, when I finally did tell my husband I wanted a divorce, it was almost 6 months before he moved out. These things can take time (he was not physically abusive).

I remember it was so hard to tell people about my awful marriage. First I told one sister, then later my mom, then another sister. My mom told my dad. I still haven't told my brother. Once you tell people, you might be able to get support from them, so although it's hard, it can be really helpful.

Good luck to you. Your T sounds so supportive.